Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
