Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
