Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
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