i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
