Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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