I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize