Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
