Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
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