How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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