I just pynch a tree in the face
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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