Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
