My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
found the other keg... it's in the tree
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
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