I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
