You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
Every concussion has its silver lining
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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