Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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