Your favorite bartender is back from prision
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
