Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
