My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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