Can i not drive my cunt home
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
I think i got beer on your cat.
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