I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
What drink are we having for lunch?
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
