Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
whose ass print is on the piano?
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Randomize