I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
