I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
Non-Jews are for practice
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
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