Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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