I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
