Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
