I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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