My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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