How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
