almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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