i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Randomize
