That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
