that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
