i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
