Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
