so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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