the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
