The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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