the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
