Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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