The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
His nipple licking is glorious
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
