i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
