The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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