At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Screwed.edu
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Randomize
