His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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