This dress was meant to end up on your floor
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize