Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
