Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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