I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Randomize
