:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
