Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
