He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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