Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
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