Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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