can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
