I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
