You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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