I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
